Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Extreme mood swings

I've been watching two movies this long weekend. One was 'Tum Bin', slow melo-drama at its best, characters with a sense of purpose, and the great melodies. The other one is 'Fight Club', with its 'your condo and your sofa' anti-boredom rhetoric. The mood swings could not be wilder.
I realize that the weekend is over, but I'm still hanging on to it. I should be keeping myself busy, fill my head with the logical disillusionment that is the real world around me, dressed up in Emperor's new clothes with Mose's stick in hand. Take care of things that need to be taken care of. Finish what I have yet to start.
But suddenly, I am tired. Even after an uninterrupted sleep of 8 hours, waking up to Rabbi Shergill singing 'Bulla Ki Jaana', having tea in my pajamas along with a cigarette. All this, and no energy to tackle the day in front of me.
No energy to make up an excuse for my uncle or my cousins. No energy to go to the Temp agency and get myself hired. No energy to fill up the forms and deposit the fees, have them sent from one department to another, while I wait.
No energy for friendly chat, no energy for phone conversations, no energy to dial a number, communicate. None for the library, none for the headlines, none for the blogs, none for Backgammon.
What, in the name of God, is this paralysis?